The Swamp Creature Sleeps Alone

Sunday morning, I woke up at 6.30 to find Peter not in the bed. This is unusual although not unprecedented. Every once in a while, he will stay up ludicrously late and crawl into bed around the time I am waking up. But I had fuzzy recollections of him coming to bed - and of scolding him for snoring. I couldn't imagine the circumstances under which he would be up and about before me.

I found him sleeping on the living room couch, all curled up under the fleece blankets, his 6' frame not exactly suited to the 4' couch. I whispered to him that the bed was free, but he was sleeping soundly and I didn't want to risk waking him fully. I knew what had happened - my head cold was making me snore enough to drive him from the bedroom.

Around 9.30, a bird chirping on top of the chimney pipe woke Peter up for the day. It's amazing how loud that sounds. First, you think the bird is in the chimney. Then you realise the chimney is acting as a giant bird-megaphone. It's a little creepy, in a way. Who knows what message the bird is broadcasting to any pet birds you might have in the house.

One of the first things Peter said to me was "You should have heard the sounds you were making. It was like sleeping next to the Swamp Creature." He proceeded to make a series of horrifying, disgusting noises and then told me that he couldn't replicate the sounds, that they were even worse than his approximations.

So last night, Peter has slept in the guest room. I hate that he has to do that - the pack should always sleep in the same room - but it seemed like the best solution to assure good sleeping for both of us. I was hopeful that I would get a couple of good nights' sleep, since I usually do when I have the bed to myself. It feels like I haven't had a good night's sleep in several days.

This morning is a bit better but yesterday morning, I felt so strange and confused. I'd slept for 7 hours straight, but it was like I hadn't slept at all. Getting through the days recently has been like wading through treacle, only not as tasty. (In fact, I can't taste or smell anything - the silver lining of this cold had better be some appreciable weight loss.) I'm so muddle-headed, I'm forgetting things and losing my train of thought and generally freaking myself out.

When I told Peter yesterday about my lousy sleep, he said he wasn't surprised, that with all the horrible Swamp Creature sounds I'm making, I'm having apnea throughout the night. So this is what it feels like! I could never understand how someone would be able to sleep wearing one of those scary masks. It seems to me like it would be so restrictive and claustrophobia-inducing. But now I get it. I've only been this way for a few days. I can see that after months or years, I'd be willing to try anything to get some decent sleep.

I've been horrible, snappish, whingy, and defensive lately. (I've also been half-deaf with ear congestion.) I hope that for both our sakes, my cold and my sleeping improve soon. Until then, the Swamp Creature sleeps alone.