Thoughts on Time

I try not to be one of those people who runs around saying “Oh, I’m so old”, because, in the grand scheme of things, I’m not that old. With the genes I have, I should make 90 with no troubles, as long as a psychotic Irish driver doesn’t make me carnage on the roads first.

But, as surely as every joint in my body cracks like a drum set in a Def Leppard solo each morning when I wake up, I can see signs that I’m not as young as I used to be. The biggest sign involves time, both how I feel about it and how I spend it.

It galls me that I’m able to say things like “Fifteen years ago, I won a trip to Washington DC” and I’m able to remember it as clearly as yesterday, even though it was almost half-my-life ago. Time is on an accelerated payment plan and I don’t like it at all. I’ve fallen into that easy rhythm of work-work-work-work-work-weekend-weekend and entire months peel off the calendar like a montage in a cheesy movie before I have a chance to realise it.

The only exception to this rule is when I am looking forward to something, like my Christmas trip to visit my family in Cleveland. I leave 3 weeks from tomorrow. The way time is going, it’s going to feel like 3 months. But time is fickle and not particularly friendly to me and the fecker will go all warp speed. My visit in Cleveland will feel like 3 hours.

How I spend my time, well, my inner teenage girl can describe that in three words: like totally sad. Take tonight, since it’s a Friday and should be prime going-out time. After work, I went to the gym where I swam 700 meters, soaked in the hot tub and roasted in the sauna. I came out feeling like overcooked spaghetti, but in a good way, a relaxed, rubbery and overly laid-back way.

Back at home, I ascended into the clubhouse and curled up with my laptop to check my email and read blogs. On Blue Meany’s site, I discovered a fabulous time waster – the South Park character generator.

Yes, this is the ideal sort of Friday night for me – a bit of stress-relieving exercise followed by some time-wasting on the Internet. I’ll have a microwave meal when the hunger kicks in and maybe read a book. Peter’s down the pub with his dad and they’ll probably have dinner out as well. The last couple of Fridays, I was asleep before they came home.

My inner teenage girl has a very selective memory (she has selective hearing as well) and has conveniently forgotten that our social life has been rocketing down the far slope of the bell curve ever since college. By and large, I am okay with this because, let’s face it: drinking until you vomit and then drinking a little more is only funny for so long. Then it’s just sad and disgusting and foreshadows dole cheques, liquor in brown paper bags and teary interventions. No thanks.

I can accept a quieter social life but I just wish that I didn’t feel like time was always racing past me. I’d prefer my time to meander a bit, so I could relax and enjoy the journey.

For your amusement, here are Peter and I as South Park characters: