Sunday, March 15, 2009

Recharging

I love taking personality tests and quizzes. I think it's a girl thing. Open any magazine aimed at women or girls and you're bound to find a quiz. I'm not sure I can put into words the allure of a quiz, but the compulsion to complete them is undeniable.

One of my favourites is the Myers-Briggs, sort of the gold standard in the industry. As I've gotten older, I've noticed that my type has changed and can also vary depending on my mood. I'm not sure why this is. Maybe I've gotten wishy-washy and indecisive in my old age. Or perhaps I'm gaining wisdom and the ability to see shades of grey and adapt to circumstances. Wisdom is one of the few bonuses of aging, after all. (Well, that and the oft-cited ability to eat ice cream for dinner if you so choose.)

My most consistent personality trait, no matter which test I take, is introversion. This used to trouble me, since Western culture values extroversion and I was mistaking introversion with shyness. Make no mistake, I'm also shy although I can manage social anxiety better than I used to. But introversion has nothing to do with social anxiety or poor social skills. It's all about where you draw your energy.

Extroverts draw their energy from other people. Introverts draw their energy from within themselves. An extrovert would find monastic life as difficult to bear as an introvert would find being a celebutant. Introverts find interacting with people tiring and need time alone to recharge their batteries.

I've been going through a tough time lately and I recognize my introversion coming into play. I guess I'm kind of like a turtle in that during times of trouble, I pull inward. It's not denial or avoidance exactly. I've assessed all of my options and gathered the information I need to make decisions. The next few plays are mapped out in my head and I'm ready for whatever happens next. But I have drawn into my shell, most notably in both blogging and commenting on others' blogs. It's not that I don't enjoy blogging, it's just that I don't have the energy for it.

So it might be a little quiet here for the next while. And I probably won't be commenting much, which is regrettable, but a necessary step. When the clouds lift, I'll be back. And I'll be better for having the time off.