Eight Dumb Things I've Said, Thought or Done

Thanks to my pal Dave, I've been tagged to list 8 random things about me. Sorry to disappoint Dave, but not surprise him - I'm sure, since he knows me in Real Life (TM) - I'm only going to play half his game. I'm not real keen on tagging others. (Amen't I such a blogging killjoy?) Plus, I've already done a similar seven random things about me. So I don't want to bore you all with random things about me, me, me.

Instead, I hope to entertain you by reporting eight dumb things I've said, done, or thought. Because, as we all know, I'm not exactly always a Mensa candidate.

1. Peter got a GPS unit for the car at the end of April. Very nifty gadget and quite useful for a landscape photographer. In the middle of May, we went to Killarney for a weekend to celebrate his birthday. At one point, as Peter was flawlessly navigating us through the warren of streets in Killarney, I remarked to him that he must really know his way around the town, seeing as how he was able to get us places so easily. He looked at me like I was taking the piss and then tapped the GPS unit, saying "I've got an automatically updating map."

2. We've been watching The Deadliest Catch. In the opening credits, they show pictures of guys and names like "Northwestern" and "Billiken" and "Fierce Allegience" and "Lucky Lady". It wasn't until the the second time that I watched the show that I realised the guys were the captains and the names were their ships. I thought the names were their nicknames and I'd hoped someone would explain how a big strapping fisherman gets called "Lucky Lady."

3. When I was a kid in Catholic school, I thought that nuns were the priests' wives. (I was never quite able to work out the numbers - 4 parish priests, at least 12 nuns.)

4. Again, when I was a kid, I thought that all kids were born white and then some grew up to be black. It made sense to me - I lived in an all-white suburb and the only black people I ever saw were nurses at the place my mom worked.

5. Peter took me driving in the Wicklow Mountains on our first joing trip back here after he emigrated to Chicago. We decided to get out of the car and hike up one of the hills. He struck off first, shouting back to me "Be careful, it's boggy." I had no idea what he meant, but said cheerfully "Okay!" Two minutes later, I was up to my knees in a cold, wet bog-hole.

6. My parents were very strict about what shows we watched and what movies we saw, but I'd won the privilege to watch The Dukes of Hazzard after a very vigorous advocacy campaign. In the summer when I was 9, we went to New Jersey to visit my grandparents. I was looking forward to Friday night, to get my fix of Bo Duke. When I looked at the TV Guide, I was crestfallen to see (R) after the program name. I became convinced that the episode was rated R and I would not be able to see it.

7. For Peter's birthday, we had dinner in a nice seafood restaurant in Killarney. This was shortly after I'd written my post about my big baby-induced Mother's Day meltdown. We were talking about the post and he was telling me that he felt bad that I was so uncomfortable in posh restaurants. He asked me how I was feeling where we were. I told him it wasn't that bad. Then I asked him if I was using the right knife to butter my bread. He informed me I was using the fish knife. I really thought it looked like a fancy butter knife.

8. For awhile in Chicago, Peter and I worked in buildings that were in the same area in the Loop. Sometimes, we'd get takeaway lunches and meet in this concrete garden in front of my building. He was very fond of a sushi place called Tokyo Lunchbox. I think it was the first time I'd ever seen sushi and the green stuff on the plate caught my eye. I thought it was avocado and popped a wodge of it my mouth. I'm sure I looked exactly like a cartoon character after that - sputtering, smoke pouring from my ears, teary eyes bulging out. How was I supposed to know about wasabai?