Elementary Counting

We had quite a robust debate in our house last night about the census. Now, you might think that we were discussing the infamous Question 14. Are we white or black? Travelers or non-Irish white? African or other black? Chinese or other Asian? Should we even answer it at all?

We were not discussing Question 14. We were not debating the finer points of ethnicity and national identity, of potential government intrusiveness, of the nation's new found diversity. No, we were having a knock-down, drag-out barney over the freaking instructions.

On what day should you fill out the census? On the face of it, this seems easy enough.
Sunday, 23 April. Right? Right. But when, exactly is the night of Sunday 23, April?

My logic is as follows:

• You are meant to count all persons alive at midnight on Sunday, 23 April.


• You are meant to count all persons who slept in the house on Sunday 23 April. The directions, in fact, say "all persons (including visitors) who spent the night of Sunday 23 April in the household.


• You should complete the form on Sunday 23 April.


• The enumerator will collect the form on Monday 24 April.

To me, these directions mean that everyone who is sleeping in the house at midnight on 23 April (the exact moment that Saturday the 22nd becomes Sunday the 23rd) are counted. You should tot up who slept in the house at 12:00 am and then complete the form at your leisure, perhaps as you're watching "Fair City" or the scores for "Celebrity Jigs 'N Reels." (Not that we'd watch such things personally, I am just giving a sense of time.)

Peter probably wouldn't argue with me on the timing of filling out the form, but he would (and in fact did, mightily and repeatedly) that the count should be of people who were going to be sleeping in the house in the evening hours of 23 April, perhaps the ones who are dozing through the dancing results or the film on RTE 1.

As is our wont, we have dug into our foxholes and are refusing to come out or concede any ground. I'm not conceding ground because I think the directions are flawed and are open to too much interpretation. Peter's not conceding ground because he thinks I'm being overly pedantic and fussy. But guess what, I pay our bills by writing instructional matters. I've sat in classes where we've discussed at great length the difference between "I leave my money to John, Paul, and Mary" vs. "I leave my money to John, Paul and Mary." Directions should be exact, precise, and not open to interpretation and these just are not those things.

This would all be a rhetorical question, but for the fact that we're going to a wedding on 22 April and will be sacking out at the a nice guest house in County Kildare at midnight on Sunday, 23 April. Besides, intellectual debate is so much fun, isn't it?